If you had a golden apple, who would you give it to? At the banquet, Lorne—an invited guest—spots the golden apple in the tray, engraved with the words: “To the fairest goddess.” He also sees three goddesses in front of him already locked in a dispute. Smiling warmly, he picks up a knife. First step: peel it. He gives the peel to Aphrodite. “Fair is fair—you *are* pretty. As a layer of peel, you’re still nice to look at.” Second step: slice the flesh. He gives the flesh to Hera. “You’re the Queen of Heaven, but on all of Olympus—from the eight-hundred-year-olds down to the livestock—everyone can cuckold you. Men, women, even sheep. Since you’ve already lost your face, you can have the ‘substance’ instead.” Third step: he gives the remaining core to Athena. “You were originally supposed to be born as a male god and inherit Zeus’s throne, but thanks to Zeus you ended up without the necessary ‘seed.’ So here—have the seed.” Aphrodite clenches her fists. Hera raises her scepter. Athena summons spear and shield… Seeing this, Lorne hurriedly takes a step back and firmly pulls the Goddess of Discord, Eris, from the crowd to stand in front of him as a shield. “And you call yourself the Goddess of Discord? Look at me—I got them to unite instantly. Even your instigation can’t compare to mine.” “…” Staring at the Greek gods around them as they sharpen their blades with murderous intent, Eris falls silent.